Our Story

Here’s a very brief overview of how we went from temple sealing to mixed-faith marriage. I’ll use future posts to cover more detail, but this gives you the basic picture.

My husband Adam and I were married in October of 2014. At the time, we were both active and lifelong members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was about three years and two kids into our marriage when that began to change.

I think of our married life in four stages. If stage one was happy newlywed life, then phase two was the start of Adam’s faith transition. It began with the simple yet big realization that he didn’t believe in God. At the beginning of everything, Adam still attended church with our family. Close friends and family knew what was going on, but very few members of our ward did. Looking back, a lot of this time is a blur to me. I know there were a lot of hurt feelings on both sides, but also a lot of love and compassion. Neither one of us knew what the future looked like, but there were many times we recomitted to figuring it out together.

Stage three was the most difficult for me. Adam went down what I call the “church history rabbit hole.” Everything he learned seemed to drive a wedge between my faith and our marriage, and I felt like I was being forced to choose between them. It didn’t help that church was all he wanted to talk about. My mind felt like a frayed string and it was really close to snapping. It was at this point that I stumbled into life coaching.

Life coaching had vaguely been on my radar since about 2012. But one weekend in 2021, I decided to take the plunge and certify as a life coach through The Life Coach School. It really made all the difference. No, Adam did not come back to church, but I realized he didn’t have to for us to still have an incredible relationship.

When I think about our marriage now, I feel like we’ve moved into a phase four, one in which our different faiths aren’t a problem anymore. Being mixed-faith once felt like climbing Mount Everest, but now it’s more like doing a high adventure ropes course: it keeps things interesting, it takes a lot of teamwork, but it’s actually kind of fun once you get the hang of it. I realized that there is a beautiful balance between practicing my beliefs and letting my husband have a spiritual journey of his own. I no longer feel the need to be on exactly the same page in order to make things work. Instead, I choose to be grateful for the way Adam’s faith transition has brought new understanding and compassion to my life, and deeper love for each other to our marriage.